Creating space can be a game changer

I lOVE to declutter. I’m on a constant drive towards simplifying my life, and one way for me is to minimise the stuff I have in my space.  Not just physical stuff, you know, those old CDs that will never be played in a million years – U2 I still love you but now prefer to watch you on You tube or listen on Spotify.  My old CDs are not going to be played and are just clutter filling an empty shelf.  I also have dozens of books gathering dust - though for me these are harder to let go of  :) .

There’s also the electronic clutter – those 1000s of old emails you’ve never deleted or scores of old files and folders on your laptop.  Are they not only taking up valuable space but also annoying you by simply existing?! Will I ever teach the free will vs determinism debate again??!! I think not. These old files have got to go!

Releasing this physical and electronic clutter does more than opening up space in your house or freeing up data, it works profoundly on an energetic level too.

Let’s not forget. We are beings of energy not just physical bodies and personalities. We are made of the same stuff as everything you see around you.  So freeing up the flow of energy in your space, whether physical or electronic stuff and releasing the stuck energy that may be unknowingly draining you can make space for something new to come in.

It’s the stuff you can’t see that often has the biggest impact on your energy – the stuff stored in your head.  Most of which we don’t even know we’re holding onto.  But is in fact holding us back. Outdated attitudes and beliefs that no longer fit where you are now, this accumulation of thoughts and old conditioning (conscious or unconscious) if released,  can create space in more ways than you would imagine.

If there is something you want to bring into your life, creating the energetic space for it can make a huge difference in terms of your alignment and readiness to receive. The emotional pull to hold on to something can be very strong, but ask yourself honestly, would you rather have something new and vibrant in your life, more in tune with your current state of alignment?  Making space, physical or otherwise is key to inviting in the new.

As an energy healer I once worked with a lady who had tried countless times to have a family - IVF, adoption – but nothing seemed to go right. The IVF failed and numerous attempts at adopting children fell through at the last minute.  She had resigned herself to giving up her dream of having a family and had decided that If the latest attempt fell through again, that was it. She and her husband would put their energy into creating a wonderful life without children.  While I was talking to her, it suddenly occurred to me, had she created space for this new family to come in?  We did some energy work there and then to create space for these children – there was nothing to lose by trying something completely different and I simply trusted that whatever the outcome, it would be in the highest interests of all concerned.

One week later she emailed me - the adoption was going through and the children were about to arrive into their family!  A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. I was completely blown away.   Obviously I can’t ever know if this exercise really had anything to do with the arrival of much wanted children, and whether it was a complete coincidence that all the dots lined up for them at that time, but I do hold this example up as a testimony to the nature of infinite possibilities. The power of intention, clearing energy and making space for what you want to come into your life and the power of the human spirit to create a positive outcome for the highest good of all involved.

So for me, letting go and making space is a constant presence in my life and I know, if I feel stuck around something, whether a decision to make or a problem to solve, the answer is to stop and free up some energy and in that easier, calmer space, clarity will emerge to provide a resolution.

Try it - where could you use more space in your life?


Shirley x

Just be yourself

I love this quote and wanted to share this with you today.    I wish I’d seen inspiring words like this when I was a bit younger.  I spent many years wondering why I felt different from everyone else – it didn’t feel as though I could fit in anywhere.  I stifled who I knew in my heart I was in an effort to fit in with others’ expectations of me.   In essence, I became a smaller version of who I could be.

It’s taken a long time but I now know and appreciate the fact I’m not mainstream – I make no apologies for that.  I have all kinds of perhaps unusual (to some) interests and I follow these with curiosity and passion.  Yes, I love to hug trees - the vibrant energy emanating from trees is something to be experienced,  it's very grounding and I love it.  I love to make sense of my world, and receive guidance,  by meditating and journaling.   I love to both give and receive energy healing and I'm fascinated with all things metaphysical and other worldly.   I love to holiday alone on remote Scottish islands where I spend all my time walking, beach combing  and connecting with nature.

I’ve finally given myself permission to live in a way that is authentic to what I know in my heart to be true and what feels right for me.

As I age, an inescapable fact for those of us fortunate enough to do so, who I believe myself to be changes as I naturally grow and evolve – as we all do.  I overheard a conversation on the radio as I was driving yesterday, which prompted this blog, where an older lady was saying how she had things in her wardrobe she didn’t feel she ‘should’ wear for fear of being labelled as ‘mutton dressed as lamb’.   This was a real dilemma for her.

Mutton dressed as lamb is a really old phrase dating back to the 19^th century – but surprisingly still prevalent in our cultural thinking, and certainly alive in the media – showing the longevity and impact phrases can have in the way we choose to live our lives.    In this case those invisible rules around how an older woman should look or the way she ‘should’ conduct herself.

Naturally that got me thinking about how I show up in life and how much unconscious conditioning I may be responding to in my choices about what I wear, where I shop and even how I look.  Indeed, who is driving my bus?!  What invisible rules am I responding to in the choices I make about what to wear, how to style my hair and how to act as a 61 year old.

I'm fully aware that the thinking around what you should or shouldn't wear can happen at a much younger age too - particularly as we take on roles in life such as mother or even a young grandmother.  This can influence our perception around who we think we are - or worse still, we lose sight of the real 'us' as we become more identified with the roles we play.

The question is,  am I making heart centered choices that are authentically mine or am I being influenced by societal expectations?   Food for thought. I was a bit of a rebel in my younger days and now I find I am returning to that mindset.

Give yourself permission to listen to your heart, to just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical, person that you are.

This applies to all of us – we are all affected by the modern day memes floating about on social media.  All that noise is more than capable of drowning out the whispers from our heart.
So are you proud of who you are?  Are you being yourself?  Who’s voice are you listening to when you make decisions about your life?

Remember, it's time to be proud of who you are and give yourself permission to be wholeheartedly you.

Shirley x

Self doubt and fear - the enemy within?

I wrote a blog the other day, and at first the writing flowed – a theme close to my heart – words coming to me as I wrote, job done.  Or so you’d think…………

Of course once the words were committed to paper and I began to read what I’d written, doubt started to creep in.

What am I writing this for?
Is there any point?
Will it make any sense?
Is it too weird?
Is this the right theme to write about?
It’s probably been said by lots of others and in a better way.
I’m wasting my time, it’s rubbish
I really don’t want anyone to read this anyway
I can’t write (sigh)
Why did I start this?
What's the point of anything?!

Yes well, can you see where all this is going?!  It’s a downward spiral into a deep pit of despair….and a sense of failure……..self worth plummets.............

Do you do this too?

What if I said this thinking is all made up?

It’s just thought  - wonky thinking I don’t need to take seriously.

We have thousands of thoughts every day and we have no control over what comes in. Some we pay attention to and others drift by unnoticed. Well I was paying a little too much attention to my thoughts on this occasion and made up a story about being afraid to let people read what I’d written and experiencing doubt that I could write at all and what a waste of time expressing myself was.
ALL. MADE. UP.

False Evidence Appearing Real.

Yes, it felt scary for a while there! (And it will happen again and again)


Thankfully once I could see what a negative experience I was creating for myself, (took a while!),  I laughed at my innocence, at falling for this colossal lie and remembered, like everyone else, I’m human and simply forgot that we all take our thoughts seriously from time to time and it’s time for us to give ourselves a break and not spend so much time and energy in believing each and every one of them.

Self doubt and fear are natural emotions we experience particularly when we go outside of our comfort zone.  For me, this is expressing myself openly and not hiding away (my preferred option!).  Now, I'm moving into a position of 'feel the fear and do it anyway' (to coin a well worn phrase!) taking my thinking less seriously and moving forward anyway to areas I am drawn to, simply to see what happens.

I don't see self doubt and fear as the enemy, perhaps more of a misguided friend who thinks they are helping by trying to keep me safe but in the grand scheme of life, doesn't serve me very well and can persuade me to act in a more inhibited way.

So as part of my own self care I recognise that thoughts are just thoughts - neutral and ebbing and flowing in life - all part of our humanness - so let's embrace what shows up for us and make the most of life's mysteries on our journey through life.

Have fun

Shirley xx

Finding balance in your day and why you matter too!

I've had so many points along my parenting journey where I've thought that I just can't take it any more!  Sounds dramatic doesn't it?  Days where I've felt lonely and frustrated or like I'm everyone's skivvy in this house!  Times where in that moment I felt completely physically and mentally drained and can't remember who I am other than 'Mum' and 'Wife'.  I refer to Motherhood because that's been my path but you can liken this to any situation where you are giving your absolute all and forgetting about the importance of YOU somewhere in the middle of it all.



Our business - The Seashack - started as a result of me having my first child and Mum coming away from her stressful teaching job.  We both wanted to work around our other interests and commitments and wanted to take back that balance.  And I realised that it was important I had something for ME.

     

I love being at home to look after the children and I feel lucky that I can fit our work around this.  When you put everything in to perspective my experience of becoming a Mum really is amazing. I used to feel guilty on tough days, that I wasn't appreciating or enjoying the chance to be at home with the kids when many parents would love to be. I saw myself as ungrateful and tried to stop feeling that way. But I've learnt over time that no situation is ever ideal.  Any struggle is a real struggle and shouldn't be compared to what's going on in other people's lives.  And I don't think any of us women need yet another thing to be feeling guilty about! There's absolutely nothing wrong with finding the situation you're in, hard work.

On a challenging day - and sometimes in general - finding that balance and putting yourself first at all can be impossible.  We lead busy lives and we feel restricted and tied to things sometimes that we'd rather not be doing.  But I believe in all our days there are small ways we can make time to remember ourselves and look after who we are. Here's my best tips:

• Make sure that you eat and drink.  It's something - particularly drinking enough water - that is so easy to do yet makes such a big difference.  Yet somehow I'm always too busy answering someone's requests or focusing my time on something else or 'just finishing' something first.  I find that my mood drops hugely when I'm not eating regularly and because kids shout the loudest, they always get to eat first!  I'm putting in to practice some meal planning here while I'll share on another blog.  I believe being organised and spending time preparing food in advance is probably the way to go.  Take some time today to look at where you could make any changes; are you eating regularly enough?  Do you need to prepare healthy things to snack on-the-go?  Could you batch make some meals to freeze such as soup or any of your favourites?
• Focus on the positives.  Try to notice the moments that are actually yours.  Ok they may appear mundane - such as driving or unloading the dishwasher.  But your arms are free and you are free to take a deep breath or think.  Sometimes it's not always about finding an hour to sip a tea and read a magazine (although that is definitely one to fit in!), but it's about looking for the other times of the day where you weren't feeling completely overwhelmed by other stuff/people.
• Be realistic to avoid frustrations.  For example I'm sitting here now trying to write this while the kids play but it is unrealistic (knowing my children) for me to think I'll be able to write it all while they just do their own thing.  By presuming that, when they interrupt me or it's clear I can't carry on, I'll then feel resentful of the fact I've not managed to have 'any time for me'.  But by expecting that I'll only be able to do a little bit, when they interrupt me (which they are just about to - I can hear tears), I can feel grateful that I've got as far as I have in the time I've got.  The mindset is completely different and actually something to apply in many other areas of life too.
• Finish that tea!  We've all been there...you've made yourself a tea and then you've been distracted or pulled away from a situation by someone else.  Depending on what is happening obviously you may have to walk away from your tea and attend to it.  But this is where boundaries come in and saying 'no'.  It's very easy to get distracted and move on to the next thing and forget that the tea you made represented a break for you or a moment of self care.  If you can, put that moment first and continue with the next thing after you've finished this first one!
• Give yourself space.  And if you have children give them the opportunity to have space too.  Having time to breathe - and even to be bored (ha - I wish!) - is really important.  Cramming stuff in, back to back, gives little time to think about your needs.
• Learn to say no - this also connects with much of the above.  It's not selfish to make the decision that you aren't going to do something.  Sometimes it's for the 'greater good' (i.e. you can see a disaster happening if whatever this is goes ahead!) and sometimes it's just because it isn't good for YOU.  By respecting your own needs you also show others how to respect you too.
• Grounding. This one might appear a bit 'woo' to some of you but I hope not.  A personal favourite for me is to, in those moments of overwhelm and 'there is no time for me', keep myself grounded.  Mum taught me years ago how to ground myself.  I know I need grounding when my head is all over the place, I'm starting to feel like I'm panicking or overwhelmed and almost a bit floaty.  It's hard to describe it but I imagine I'm a tree and I've got roots running through my feet in to the ground.  It really does work and brings me back 'down', and to a position where I can then deal with everything again.

I hope some of these ideas might help you as well as me!

Gemma xx

Birthing our new products!

So, several months in the planning and after much deliberation, we are finally releasing some new products.  We have gone through some rebranding and have reviewed our goals and intentions for The Seashack. All very exciting!

So today Gemma and I stood on a large piece of paper and birthed our new products!  What on earth is going on you might ask?

It’s simple.  Using the concept of everything being energy, we visualised draining off other people’s energies from our products, the blocks and limitations we have unconsciously placed around them being successful and called in supportive earth and universal manifestation energies, designed to help us attract the right customers for us and to receive an abundance of sales.  Not everyone will like our stuff and that's ok, we just want to spread those positive vibes and serve our tribe the best way we can.

Will it work?  We shall have to wait and see! It may look a little woo woo but using energy to create is in fact based on scientific principles so we are in good company :).

It is also fun!

Shirley x