Everything you want is on the other side of fear

For most of my life I’ve kept myself small.  When fear came up I’d do all I could to stop myself feeling it as it was so uncomfortable.  I’d create stories I’d tell myself about the type of person I was and what I could achieve, I’d avoid certain situations and opportunities so that I didn’t have to go through the experience of extreme discomfort and even terror. I kept myself small and limited.

Of course there were times I stepped out of my comfort zone.  One being the decision to train to teach.  Yes I loved my subject and I felt drawn to learning how to teach it and through a number of synchronistic events, much to my amazement, I found myself on a prestigious teaching programme. The joy of that achievement was swiftly replaced with extreme fear from the actual act of getting in the classroom and the daunting experience of pretending I knew what I was doing in front of a bunch of 16 ad 17 year olds.  So many times I cried on the way to the college I had my work placement in.   I lived in a constant state of fear.  So many times I was going to give up – such was the challenge of standing up, teaching content I hadn’t come across before and managing a lively class of teenagers, most of whom were not interested in the subject.  I was mentally and physically exhausted.  But I pushed through and achieved my dream.

I felt I had really achieved something.  For me.  I felt empowered.

Everything I wanted was on the other side of fear.

The thing is, when you sit with the fear, when you come to realise that it’s keeping you small, you may find it’s stopping you from speaking your truth, from aligning with your heart’s desires, from taking up opportunities offered to you that could make a difference in your life and in the lives of others.    Sometimes the only thing to do is to do things differently.  Make that decision.  Take the plunge and go through the fear.     You may be very glad that you did.

‘In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make’  - Lewis Carroll.

If not now,  when?

Of course it doesn’t mean I’ve conquered fear.  It’s a natural human emotional response designed to protect us.   We tend to think of it in negative terms but fear can also make you feel alive, exhilarated – think scary rides!

One thing I do know is that if you can break through in the times you realise you are holding yourself back or keeping yourself small,  you will feel stronger, more capable and empowered.

Don't let fear stop you from being the person you always wanted to be.

Don't let fear stop you from living the life you have always wanted to live.

Don't let fear stop you from living your heart's desires.

Try it, feel the fear - and do it anyway - see where it takes you next.

Shirley x

Just be yourself

I love this quote and wanted to share this with you today.    I wish I’d seen inspiring words like this when I was a bit younger.  I spent many years wondering why I felt different from everyone else – it didn’t feel as though I could fit in anywhere.  I stifled who I knew in my heart I was in an effort to fit in with others’ expectations of me.   In essence, I became a smaller version of who I could be.

It’s taken a long time but I now know and appreciate the fact I’m not mainstream – I make no apologies for that.  I have all kinds of perhaps unusual (to some) interests and I follow these with curiosity and passion.  Yes, I love to hug trees - the vibrant energy emanating from trees is something to be experienced,  it's very grounding and I love it.  I love to make sense of my world, and receive guidance,  by meditating and journaling.   I love to both give and receive energy healing and I'm fascinated with all things metaphysical and other worldly.   I love to holiday alone on remote Scottish islands where I spend all my time walking, beach combing  and connecting with nature.

I’ve finally given myself permission to live in a way that is authentic to what I know in my heart to be true and what feels right for me.

As I age, an inescapable fact for those of us fortunate enough to do so, who I believe myself to be changes as I naturally grow and evolve – as we all do.  I overheard a conversation on the radio as I was driving yesterday, which prompted this blog, where an older lady was saying how she had things in her wardrobe she didn’t feel she ‘should’ wear for fear of being labelled as ‘mutton dressed as lamb’.   This was a real dilemma for her.

Mutton dressed as lamb is a really old phrase dating back to the 19^th century – but surprisingly still prevalent in our cultural thinking, and certainly alive in the media – showing the longevity and impact phrases can have in the way we choose to live our lives.    In this case those invisible rules around how an older woman should look or the way she ‘should’ conduct herself.

Naturally that got me thinking about how I show up in life and how much unconscious conditioning I may be responding to in my choices about what I wear, where I shop and even how I look.  Indeed, who is driving my bus?!  What invisible rules am I responding to in the choices I make about what to wear, how to style my hair and how to act as a 61 year old.

I'm fully aware that the thinking around what you should or shouldn't wear can happen at a much younger age too - particularly as we take on roles in life such as mother or even a young grandmother.  This can influence our perception around who we think we are - or worse still, we lose sight of the real 'us' as we become more identified with the roles we play.

The question is,  am I making heart centered choices that are authentically mine or am I being influenced by societal expectations?   Food for thought. I was a bit of a rebel in my younger days and now I find I am returning to that mindset.

Give yourself permission to listen to your heart, to just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical, person that you are.

This applies to all of us – we are all affected by the modern day memes floating about on social media.  All that noise is more than capable of drowning out the whispers from our heart.
So are you proud of who you are?  Are you being yourself?  Who’s voice are you listening to when you make decisions about your life?

Remember, it's time to be proud of who you are and give yourself permission to be wholeheartedly you.

Shirley x

Encouraging gift ideas for busy Mums

It's another snow day here in Essex!  I have been enjoying the quiet time at home (there have of course been a few arguments but overall it's been good!).  It is near on impossible to work with the children around but for some reason, I feel like I've gotten quite a bit down on paper, at least!  The trick I find is to grab 2 minute moments where I can.  So while they are playing or after I've spent some time with them, I cease the moment and get writing or planning!  It feels like I'm not moving anywhere fast but actually, when you can focus a little, all those minutes add up.


I thought I'd jump on this afternoon and show you some alternative Mother's Day gift ideas that are in our shop now!  There's only a few days to order as we need time to prepare and post them out to you.  As a rule we don't make items especially for occasions but I think these boxes are just perfect for busy Mums.

We have 2 types in the shop currently; Self care and encouragement and Bloom from within.  The self care box is aimed at reminding the recipient of how important they are.




It's very easy (whether you are a busy Mum or not) to put ourselves and our own needs at the bottom of the pile.  I do it myself, all the time.  The more we remind ourselves of our importance in our families, the more we realise that everything often functions around us!  When our needs aren't being met, it's so much harder to deal with juggling everything else in our lives.  We hope that our box filled with uplifting stationery and artwork will inspire a few Mums out there to look at where they can start to put their needs first.

Our second and most recent design is Bloom from within.



This box differs slightly in that the contents are aimed at boosting self esteem and confidence.  Again these messages can benefit us all.  But as Mums we get so caught up in the demands of our families that it's very easy to all of a sudden wonder who we are, where She went and how to possibly get back to the place we were at before children?!  Perhaps confidence was never high, but again, the best place to start is here.  Knowing that you want to make a change and being inspired enough to start.

Maybe you have a stationery loving Mum?  I know I do!  I don't think you can ever have enough notebooks when you love to get organised and make lists.  (My problem is more remember to look at all the lists I make!)  We've 2 brand new notebook designs in the shop, both printed from our original artwork as always:



And back in stock are our popular motivational quote pencils!  The rainbow of colour is so welcome at the moment and they really are the most happy treat, containing the perfect encouraging words.  We like to think they are something a bit different too and we've sold many of these as gifts! We also sell a sea-themed set and if you've followed us for a while you'll know how much we love the sea.   

Finally, (because otherwise this could go on forever with possibilities) we've bundled together some of our quote postcards which could be perfect for a feature wall or to use as stationery.  We've seen these framed by customers, popped up on a wall with washi tape or sent to cheer someone up.  Most recently a customer was going to send to her best friend in hospital to keep her spirits up!  How lovely!  My favourite set are these and you'll find them in the shop now:

 

So there you go guys, a few of our new and spring-like designs to hopefully inspire and encourage you in your day!  I love an alternative gift too - something that someone isn't expecting with words that might just help them in some way.

Lots of love,

It's never too late to follow your dream

You’re never too old to start following your dream………

You’ve heard this many times I bet.
Do you believe it?
Really?
I do.

Don’t let anyone tell you it’s too late to change direction or that dreaming is just for kids. That’s simply not true.

My 30s were challenging. I didn’t have the head space to even think about dreaming of anything.  Except wishing we were a ‘normal’ family.  My 30s were full of raising my 2 beautiful children, one of whom was autistic and epileptic.  I learned so much about me and them although there was not a lot of time for dreaming but simply getting through each day to the best of my ability.  I started to become interested in creativity and journaling and that, I found, a helpful form of expression to manage the extent of the challenges our family as a whole were experiencing.

A catalytic event, the unexpected death of my autistic son not long after my 40^th birthday propelled my life on a quite unexpected path but which has ultimately had a positively transformative effect. I started to walk the personal and spiritual development path.   I studied psychology, I trained as a teacher, I learned how to meditate, to develop my intuition, I trained as an energy healer, I pursued my creative interests and began to dream of a time I might be able to serve others as a healing practitioner, as an artist, sharing my understanding and helping those starting on a similar path.   I didn’t see a clear picture of how this could manifest but I knew the future was calling to me.  I started to wake up.  I could see the world differently from how I had seen it before.    In my 40s I started to dream rather than just surviving on a day to day basis.   The old cliché ‘Life begins at 40’ appeared to be on to something.  I was still experiencing grief from losing my son but because I felt spiritually closer to him than ever before, with the continued exploration and development work I chose to do, I could continue to dream and could see a positive future helping others, not just myself.

In my 50s, initially my teaching career flourished and then I gradually became disillusioned with the red tape attached to the job, and I began to lose the sense of joy and fulfilment I had with this work.  Another catalytic event, the simultaneous deaths (unconnected reasons) of both of my parents propelled me further along the personal and spiritual development path,  at some speed.   I also separated from my husband after 30+ years together and set about following another dream – leaving my full time, well paid, teaching work (which I had allowed to take over my life – I now know to bury the grief) and creating a working life where I could see the value of multiple streams of income, allowing me to serve others using my interests and passions and thus live a more peaceful and meaningful life.

So I undertook further training in different healing modalities, made lots of new connections and set up my energy healing practice.  Many workshops and courses in self awareness and self development and using energy for healing changed how I saw myself and enhanced my whole outlook on life.  I began to realise I wanted others to feel and see that too as it was so life enhancing.  I still had work as a part time psychology lecturer and of course Gemma and I created The Seashack over 4 years ago now.  So you can see  I developed three separate but actually quite interconnected strands of income.  I loved to teach, I loved to paint and create and I loved to help people learn to open up through energy healing and to shed lots of the baggage they were carrying so they could remove any barrier to their own dreams.

In my 50s I continued to follow my dreams – as they were then – realising that as we grow and evolve, so do our dreams, so I remained open and flexible to what inspired me and showed up in my life.  All the while, learning more about me, my place in the world, and staying as true to myself as I could.

I’ve now reached my 60s – and the dreams have not diminished – if anything they have grown!
The Seashack grows from strength to strength as Gemma and I are growing and evolving. We continue to dream, collectively,  and luckily have similar aspirations and are on the same wavelength!
I still teach psychology and am evolving my energy practice all the time as my knowledge grows.   Strands are pulling together as I undertake more personal learning, enhancing my knowledge and understanding of energy and how our psychology works.

Over the last 7 years another, quite unexpected, passion has emerged.  To blend creativity and travel to my most favourite place on the planet   I am besotted with the Hebridean islands.  They are a wild and restless landscape,  a beautiful, magical, mystical and largely empty space that I am drawn back to time and time again.  The thrill of exploring uninhabited islands, seeing whales, dolphins and basking sharks, paddling in stunning turquoise sea so unbelievably clear (and freezing!), and exploring empty,  white shell sand beaches.  Magical wildlife – like seeing the puffins coming out of their burrows, the otters in amongst the seaweed and the great golden and sea eagles majestically soaring.   Ok so there is another blog in itself here it seems (!).





 I digress.

Here’s the thing. I now have a dream to travel the Hebrides, beachcombing and paints in hand to capture the essence of the landscape, that others may be able to experience how I feel about them.    I have another dream (shared with Gemma I might add) to have an actual live Seashack space (rather than virtual space) where we can both work, play and authentically experience the message we are trying to share with people.  I also dream of living right next to the sea - maybe even on a boat (!).
To me, dreams are important. They lend themselves to purpose and meaning in our lives.  They may not always be fulfilled – maybe the universe has something even better in mind, so my dreams are always couched by a proviso – ‘this or something better’ – there are greater forces at work than I can ever hope to understand.   I know, if I listen to what’s in my heart and follow the threads I am inspired to follow, everything will work out for the best interests of everyone.

In the words of Henry David Thoreau:

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.

So, whatever your age, dream well, dream big and take action.  It’s never too late.

Shirley x

Self doubt and fear - the enemy within?

I wrote a blog the other day, and at first the writing flowed – a theme close to my heart – words coming to me as I wrote, job done.  Or so you’d think…………

Of course once the words were committed to paper and I began to read what I’d written, doubt started to creep in.

What am I writing this for?
Is there any point?
Will it make any sense?
Is it too weird?
Is this the right theme to write about?
It’s probably been said by lots of others and in a better way.
I’m wasting my time, it’s rubbish
I really don’t want anyone to read this anyway
I can’t write (sigh)
Why did I start this?
What's the point of anything?!

Yes well, can you see where all this is going?!  It’s a downward spiral into a deep pit of despair….and a sense of failure……..self worth plummets.............

Do you do this too?

What if I said this thinking is all made up?

It’s just thought  - wonky thinking I don’t need to take seriously.

We have thousands of thoughts every day and we have no control over what comes in. Some we pay attention to and others drift by unnoticed. Well I was paying a little too much attention to my thoughts on this occasion and made up a story about being afraid to let people read what I’d written and experiencing doubt that I could write at all and what a waste of time expressing myself was.
ALL. MADE. UP.

False Evidence Appearing Real.

Yes, it felt scary for a while there! (And it will happen again and again)


Thankfully once I could see what a negative experience I was creating for myself, (took a while!),  I laughed at my innocence, at falling for this colossal lie and remembered, like everyone else, I’m human and simply forgot that we all take our thoughts seriously from time to time and it’s time for us to give ourselves a break and not spend so much time and energy in believing each and every one of them.

Self doubt and fear are natural emotions we experience particularly when we go outside of our comfort zone.  For me, this is expressing myself openly and not hiding away (my preferred option!).  Now, I'm moving into a position of 'feel the fear and do it anyway' (to coin a well worn phrase!) taking my thinking less seriously and moving forward anyway to areas I am drawn to, simply to see what happens.

I don't see self doubt and fear as the enemy, perhaps more of a misguided friend who thinks they are helping by trying to keep me safe but in the grand scheme of life, doesn't serve me very well and can persuade me to act in a more inhibited way.

So as part of my own self care I recognise that thoughts are just thoughts - neutral and ebbing and flowing in life - all part of our humanness - so let's embrace what shows up for us and make the most of life's mysteries on our journey through life.

Have fun

Shirley xx

The season of change

It feels like we’ve been catapulted into autumn this past week or two.  Anyone else noticed this?   As summer gives way to autumn, nights are drawing in and the temperature is decidedly chilly in the evenings.   I’m reaching for a throw and hot water bottle – lighting candles and snuggling up with a mug of hot chocolate.  The beginnings of the transition to autumn seem to have come around so quickly – my mind is drifting back to the beginning of summer – how did it pass so quickly?!

Nurturing, warming soups are back on the menu (welcome back red lentils)  and I’ve been blackberry picking, something I love to do. There’s something delicious about foraging for free food and rustling up a delicious apple and blackberry crumble – as well as freezing several trays of blackberries for the winter months.  All very satisfying and an essential part of my own autumn ritual.


After the active summer period, tending our gardens, traveling, holidays and generally being out and about enjoying the balmy long summer days, autumn signals a transition time – slowing down, resting, recuperating and preparing for those colder winter months.

Autumn has its own beauty of course. Glorious colours as nature puts on a final colourful display before leaves fall and growth becomes dormant. I get out into the countryside as much as possible and drink in those heady colours, collect conkers and pine cones (for my grandchildren of course - or at least that’s my excuse!).  I see wild creatures scurrying about – squirrels busily burying their finds and birds feeding on wild berries – a bit like my foraging, an instinctive desire to store the harvest before the cooler winter months.

So there are positive things to be enjoyed at this time as we make the most of the remaining relatively warm autumn days (yes ok, the last few days have been decidedly chilly!). Such abundance of berries and fruits to feast on, and store away, before the oncoming darker, colder months.



Taking time out - even 5 minutes of deep breaths and feeling where my body is tensed, gently stretching it out, can help us feel more present and savour the moment instead of our minds racing ahead. Try it.

Maybe I’m putting a positive spin on this although I do find something magical with every season.  Yes, I have to adjust to the shortening days - sometimes reluctantly - but there is also something for me that is  'New Yearish' about September and starting again with a fresh outlook.  Perhaps that's down to years of study first as a mature student and then teacher - so September has meant a new start for me for some time.

This year, for me,  autumn brings the start of a new training course, another group of students to teach and preparing for a busy Seashack season as we move through the rebranding process and naturally evolve.

I'm feeling grateful for having experienced the spring freshness, the uplifting birdsong and signs of new life, the balmy summer days and my wonderful Hebridean adventure and now the circle continues into a slower and more reflective period, loudly interrupted by the Christmas extravaganza of course then back to reflection and planning for another year.

The circle of life......simply amazing.

Shirley x

Finding balance in your day and why you matter too!

I've had so many points along my parenting journey where I've thought that I just can't take it any more!  Sounds dramatic doesn't it?  Days where I've felt lonely and frustrated or like I'm everyone's skivvy in this house!  Times where in that moment I felt completely physically and mentally drained and can't remember who I am other than 'Mum' and 'Wife'.  I refer to Motherhood because that's been my path but you can liken this to any situation where you are giving your absolute all and forgetting about the importance of YOU somewhere in the middle of it all.



Our business - The Seashack - started as a result of me having my first child and Mum coming away from her stressful teaching job.  We both wanted to work around our other interests and commitments and wanted to take back that balance.  And I realised that it was important I had something for ME.

     

I love being at home to look after the children and I feel lucky that I can fit our work around this.  When you put everything in to perspective my experience of becoming a Mum really is amazing. I used to feel guilty on tough days, that I wasn't appreciating or enjoying the chance to be at home with the kids when many parents would love to be. I saw myself as ungrateful and tried to stop feeling that way. But I've learnt over time that no situation is ever ideal.  Any struggle is a real struggle and shouldn't be compared to what's going on in other people's lives.  And I don't think any of us women need yet another thing to be feeling guilty about! There's absolutely nothing wrong with finding the situation you're in, hard work.

On a challenging day - and sometimes in general - finding that balance and putting yourself first at all can be impossible.  We lead busy lives and we feel restricted and tied to things sometimes that we'd rather not be doing.  But I believe in all our days there are small ways we can make time to remember ourselves and look after who we are. Here's my best tips:

• Make sure that you eat and drink.  It's something - particularly drinking enough water - that is so easy to do yet makes such a big difference.  Yet somehow I'm always too busy answering someone's requests or focusing my time on something else or 'just finishing' something first.  I find that my mood drops hugely when I'm not eating regularly and because kids shout the loudest, they always get to eat first!  I'm putting in to practice some meal planning here while I'll share on another blog.  I believe being organised and spending time preparing food in advance is probably the way to go.  Take some time today to look at where you could make any changes; are you eating regularly enough?  Do you need to prepare healthy things to snack on-the-go?  Could you batch make some meals to freeze such as soup or any of your favourites?
• Focus on the positives.  Try to notice the moments that are actually yours.  Ok they may appear mundane - such as driving or unloading the dishwasher.  But your arms are free and you are free to take a deep breath or think.  Sometimes it's not always about finding an hour to sip a tea and read a magazine (although that is definitely one to fit in!), but it's about looking for the other times of the day where you weren't feeling completely overwhelmed by other stuff/people.
• Be realistic to avoid frustrations.  For example I'm sitting here now trying to write this while the kids play but it is unrealistic (knowing my children) for me to think I'll be able to write it all while they just do their own thing.  By presuming that, when they interrupt me or it's clear I can't carry on, I'll then feel resentful of the fact I've not managed to have 'any time for me'.  But by expecting that I'll only be able to do a little bit, when they interrupt me (which they are just about to - I can hear tears), I can feel grateful that I've got as far as I have in the time I've got.  The mindset is completely different and actually something to apply in many other areas of life too.
• Finish that tea!  We've all been there...you've made yourself a tea and then you've been distracted or pulled away from a situation by someone else.  Depending on what is happening obviously you may have to walk away from your tea and attend to it.  But this is where boundaries come in and saying 'no'.  It's very easy to get distracted and move on to the next thing and forget that the tea you made represented a break for you or a moment of self care.  If you can, put that moment first and continue with the next thing after you've finished this first one!
• Give yourself space.  And if you have children give them the opportunity to have space too.  Having time to breathe - and even to be bored (ha - I wish!) - is really important.  Cramming stuff in, back to back, gives little time to think about your needs.
• Learn to say no - this also connects with much of the above.  It's not selfish to make the decision that you aren't going to do something.  Sometimes it's for the 'greater good' (i.e. you can see a disaster happening if whatever this is goes ahead!) and sometimes it's just because it isn't good for YOU.  By respecting your own needs you also show others how to respect you too.
• Grounding. This one might appear a bit 'woo' to some of you but I hope not.  A personal favourite for me is to, in those moments of overwhelm and 'there is no time for me', keep myself grounded.  Mum taught me years ago how to ground myself.  I know I need grounding when my head is all over the place, I'm starting to feel like I'm panicking or overwhelmed and almost a bit floaty.  It's hard to describe it but I imagine I'm a tree and I've got roots running through my feet in to the ground.  It really does work and brings me back 'down', and to a position where I can then deal with everything again.

I hope some of these ideas might help you as well as me!

Gemma xx

Why I can't write today (but why if I do it could be the start of something)

Hello Monday!

It's the start of a new week and I thought I'd tackle something first thing that I've been wanting to for ages...

I love writing, I always have.  There's nothing like putting pen to paper and getting those thoughts down, making a list of things to get through, or getting something organised.  It's like if you write that thing down then it's there and it's committed to!  It's a great way to express something too; even if no-one ever sees it you've got that stuff on paper and out of your head which is a good thing.  We have enough things in our head I find!

But sometimes I am longing to write, especially on our blog, but I feel I have nothing to say or I can't focus long enough to actually articulate what it is that is in my head.  Or rather there's so many ideas that I can't actually put a single one in the practice.  I describe this feeling as being a bit all over the place...a bit chaotic.  I think when this happens you just need to write anything.  Which is what I'm doing now and seeing where it takes me...

Not everything you write or put out in the world has to be super majorly important or make a huge impact on anything.  Sometimes it's enough that it's something that you love to do and it's helping you.  I picked up The Big Magic again yesterday and reading a few chapters reminded me of this.  And I can feel myself inspired now!

Just start.

We spend too long up in our heads telling ourselves a story that nobody else is writing for us.  We might think no-one cares what we say, that we have nothing of use to give, that people are laughing at us.  Because it takes huge vulnerability to put yourself out there.  The only person limiting us is ourselves.

We need to start believing in ourselves.

Like, really believing.  I don't just mean a few quotes dotted around your home or half thinking that you might be able to do something...one day...when you're more educated or you have more time or you feel more capable and 'ready'.  You absolutely are worthy enough of all the stuff (whatever that means for you) now.  Why would you not deserve to live the life you imagine living?

I can feel myself losing my train of thought...wondering if what I'm writing is worth sharing with anyone or wondering if it makes any sense at all!  The kids are noisy in the background whilst I type this out so quickly before being disturbed.  It's so easy to blame the time I need to dedicate to being a Mum on my lack of writing but I know this is all fear talking.  It's much easier to save this and not share it with you but then there will be that feeling of not having accomplished anything again...
So I'm going to leave it there for now...because writing something and making that connection is better than not writing at all.  And it gives me a little something to hold on to while I try to get focused on one of the parts of my life that need attention!

Wishing you a lovely Monday and sending you the confidence to do something today that takes you out of your comfort zone a little, if that's what you feel you need too.  And of course if you have a moment I'd love to know if anything here resonates with you...I would love to build a bit of a community here!

Gemma xx

International Day of Happiness!

Today is International Day of Happiness! It seems like almost every day there is something to celebrate and why not? I think our happiness is certainly important and also deserves a bit of thought and discussion. Mum and I were talking earlier about what happiness means to us.

I think it's hard to imagine being happy 24/7 each and every day. Things happen and as much as I believe that we have the choice in how we react to them I know I'm only human and often it's more about how I pick myself back up.

But happiness is something I think we all love feeling and all aim for; that feeling of calm and contentment in our lives. It's often so easy to put barriers in the way of our own happiness...we think we'll be happy when we go on holiday or when we have more money or when the work is done. Happiness is our natural state! Just look at children...they are so light and open and bounce back amazingly. They have an inbuilt resilience.

There are so many things I associate with feeling happy; cakes...holidays...sunshine on my face...colours...the sea...sand under my feet...hearing my kids laugh...a fresh bunch of flowers...freshly styled hair...cosy PJs & a blanket...but I want to know I'm still going to feel good without these things too. Every one of these moments is lovely but they pass and then what?

I know more than ever my happiness depends on things like self care...time for me...how I'm looking at the world...how I'm feeling about the things I already have. Gratitude plays such a huge part in how content I feel.

So I am happy to celebrate that we have a day to remind ourselves of these things and remember that happiness truly is a state of mind.

Gemma xx

Do what makes you happy

It's Saturday night and I'm finally finding some time to write!  Evenings are something of a scarcity in this house with 3 little people.  Our youngest is nearly 17 months old and I never know from one evening to the next whether I'll get some free time or not.  We know that in an ideal world we'd all do more of what makes us happier; spend more time on the things we love.  When it comes to the evening it's often a dilemma whether to spend time doing chores...something for me...something businessy...something to help me get ahead (although I'm not sure it ever actually works!).  These are all things that would contribute to my happiness, in different ways, even if they aren't all things I'm obviously passionate about!

When it comes to our business and my happiness generally in life, I've been asking myself a lot lately about the WHYs; mainly why do I want to write or create or connect with others on the same wavelength.  It's not until you run a business that you start to understand what goes in to it; you're not just the creator or maker, you're in charge of every other aspect too.  Which requires balance!  Now that isn't always something I have that much of in my life right now so I seriously have to minimise my expectations, in all areas.  Doing more of the things I love isn't always easy but ultimately it just means trying to find time to squeeze even a little something in for yourself.  Even with 3 children I manage something each day.  It's always there, it's just a matter of looking for it ;-)

I love to write and be creative, I always have done since I was little.  But I do often feel like I might be a bit of an introverted-extrovert and it can be hard some days pushing myself to make time to connect.  It's all too easy to stay in your own head, with your own company! BUT I think it's very good for me to express myself.  Family life is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me but it can be draining and overwhelming in so many ways.  I think it is so important for me to have time outside of family life to focus on my interests and actually, I think overall it makes me a better parent for doing so.

What are your WHYs for doing what you love?

Gemma xx

Finding inspiration

Where do you find your inspiration? Or perhaps I could say how do you find it? An interesting question.... Sometimes it feels as though it has all but disappeared. You can see it manifesting all around you but for you it seems to be elusive.

I find inspiration strikes when I least expect it, when I'm not trying to find it. Instead I open to the possibility that there is an infinite and abundant supply of inspiration, that it's all around each and every one of us and all we have to do is relax and let go, holding the intention to allow inspiration to flow within you. Might sound a bit woo woo but that's the way it works. It's already there, you don't have to go looking for it. It's yours for the taking.

So how do I open up? I believe for everyone it's a case of spending time doing what you love to do, what you feel called to you, what your heart is guiding you to do. When you're taking action, inspiration will find you.

For example, sometimes I instinctively 'know' I need to get out of my home work space. I might go off to a quiet tea shop in the countryside and tap into the stream of writing and creative ideas inside me. Cup of green tea by my side, notebook and pens, laptop at hand - and just start doing whatever I feel called to do.

For me, it's almost always about immersing myself in nature. This, for me, is a place where I feel open, happy and energised. Right now I'm sitting in a deserted bird hide, the sound of a multitude of bird sounds filling the air, my heart wide open and tapping into that ever present source of inspiration. I could equally find a quiet spot on the beach or sitting under a tree with a beautiful vista in view. That's what makes my heart sing and enables me to be closer to that creative source. This is where my best creative ideas are born and birthed. Like magic.

Over to you. What do you do to feel inspired? Shirley x