Encouraging gift ideas for busy Mums

It's another snow day here in Essex!  I have been enjoying the quiet time at home (there have of course been a few arguments but overall it's been good!).  It is near on impossible to work with the children around but for some reason, I feel like I've gotten quite a bit down on paper, at least!  The trick I find is to grab 2 minute moments where I can.  So while they are playing or after I've spent some time with them, I cease the moment and get writing or planning!  It feels like I'm not moving anywhere fast but actually, when you can focus a little, all those minutes add up.


I thought I'd jump on this afternoon and show you some alternative Mother's Day gift ideas that are in our shop now!  There's only a few days to order as we need time to prepare and post them out to you.  As a rule we don't make items especially for occasions but I think these boxes are just perfect for busy Mums.

We have 2 types in the shop currently; Self care and encouragement and Bloom from within.  The self care box is aimed at reminding the recipient of how important they are.




It's very easy (whether you are a busy Mum or not) to put ourselves and our own needs at the bottom of the pile.  I do it myself, all the time.  The more we remind ourselves of our importance in our families, the more we realise that everything often functions around us!  When our needs aren't being met, it's so much harder to deal with juggling everything else in our lives.  We hope that our box filled with uplifting stationery and artwork will inspire a few Mums out there to look at where they can start to put their needs first.

Our second and most recent design is Bloom from within.



This box differs slightly in that the contents are aimed at boosting self esteem and confidence.  Again these messages can benefit us all.  But as Mums we get so caught up in the demands of our families that it's very easy to all of a sudden wonder who we are, where She went and how to possibly get back to the place we were at before children?!  Perhaps confidence was never high, but again, the best place to start is here.  Knowing that you want to make a change and being inspired enough to start.

Maybe you have a stationery loving Mum?  I know I do!  I don't think you can ever have enough notebooks when you love to get organised and make lists.  (My problem is more remember to look at all the lists I make!)  We've 2 brand new notebook designs in the shop, both printed from our original artwork as always:



And back in stock are our popular motivational quote pencils!  The rainbow of colour is so welcome at the moment and they really are the most happy treat, containing the perfect encouraging words.  We like to think they are something a bit different too and we've sold many of these as gifts! We also sell a sea-themed set and if you've followed us for a while you'll know how much we love the sea.   

Finally, (because otherwise this could go on forever with possibilities) we've bundled together some of our quote postcards which could be perfect for a feature wall or to use as stationery.  We've seen these framed by customers, popped up on a wall with washi tape or sent to cheer someone up.  Most recently a customer was going to send to her best friend in hospital to keep her spirits up!  How lovely!  My favourite set are these and you'll find them in the shop now:

 

So there you go guys, a few of our new and spring-like designs to hopefully inspire and encourage you in your day!  I love an alternative gift too - something that someone isn't expecting with words that might just help them in some way.

Lots of love,

New year, new beginnings

Yes,  I do love winter. Despite the short days and long nights, the cold and damp, it feels to me like winter is a time for reflecting, for planning and thinking about what we want to create in our lives over the coming year – the birth place of genius.  I don’t see it as a time for taking massive action but a time for resting, sleeping and for eating healthily to enable our bodies to recover and repair.  This is in contrast to the idea of New Year resolutions which are usually requiring some action.

New year, new beginnings.  For many this is so. A time of hopes and dreams of a wonderful year to come.   I’m not fond of resolutions, particularly at such a harsh time of year, when we’re often below par and our immune systems are doing their best to ward off the worst of the germs.    Resolutions themselves can be on the surface motivating but can all too quickly turn into frustration and despair,  a sense of having ‘blown it’ again, and a lot of negative self judgement thrown into the mix.

For example, aspiring to be healthier and fitter, for example, is logical – taking responsibility for our physical well being makes sense – though not just in January – good health benefits us all year round.  Changing habitual poor eating patterns that have caused us to gain weight or become unhealthy can be done with love and kindness towards ourselves rather than resolving to go on yet another quick fix diet (often steeped in a sense of deprivation) and beating ourselves up if we slip off the wagon – this goes against everything I know about self love and self care.

If you are a big fan of resolutions, then why not wait until the spring?  When the weather is a little warmer, the days are lengthening and there is a natural vibe of hope and growth – mirrored by nature and the emerging of colourful spring plants and nesting birds.  Energetically our bodies are much more able to cope with making significant lifestyle changes then.

We have now passed the winter solstice and are now moving onwards towards spring, so things are on the up.

I’m taking the pressure off the thought of new resolutions and instead simply treating each day as full of possibilities – who knows what that may lead to!

Here's to a wonderful 2018!

Shirley x

Talking yourself out of it!

I read recently that our brains have something like a 5 second pause when we think of something good we'd like to do, before we try to talk ourselves out of it!  That would make a lot of sense to me because I can definitely relate to feeling really excited about an idea and then suddenly thinking of a hundred doubts around it.  You can find out more here on Mel Robbins' Facebook page.

How many of us are sitting and waiting for the 'right' time to do something we would love to do?  I make enough excuses about my busy day.  And it IS busy...often there isn't much give or take to be able to look after me.  Mostly because I take on a lot of things. I'm interested in everything and I like to get involved in as much as I can, even when I should probably often be saying no.  It's all about balance; sometimes the things you love that keep you busy are also a way of reconnecting with yourself and can have so much value too.

However busy you are, take a moment to consider what it is that you need to do to give yourself this balance and how and why are you putting this off?  One of my favourite phrases is 'Start where you are'.



It can feel scary but sometimes this is the very best thing you can do!  If you read Mum's blog post from last week you'll know we're both all too familiar with fear and doubt.  But for me, most of the time I'm putting things off is about perfectionist thinking (& there's also an element of focus and organisation!).  When you just get on and start something - even if it's not exactly perfect as you'd want it - it's liberating and you'll feel so proud of yourself.  This goes for anything in your life too - the washing, that phone call, thinking about that gift for someone.  And this (over)thinking takes up so much brain power!  What are you putting off?  What do you need to be brave with today?

Gemma xx

Finding balance in your day and why you matter too!

I've had so many points along my parenting journey where I've thought that I just can't take it any more!  Sounds dramatic doesn't it?  Days where I've felt lonely and frustrated or like I'm everyone's skivvy in this house!  Times where in that moment I felt completely physically and mentally drained and can't remember who I am other than 'Mum' and 'Wife'.  I refer to Motherhood because that's been my path but you can liken this to any situation where you are giving your absolute all and forgetting about the importance of YOU somewhere in the middle of it all.



Our business - The Seashack - started as a result of me having my first child and Mum coming away from her stressful teaching job.  We both wanted to work around our other interests and commitments and wanted to take back that balance.  And I realised that it was important I had something for ME.

     

I love being at home to look after the children and I feel lucky that I can fit our work around this.  When you put everything in to perspective my experience of becoming a Mum really is amazing. I used to feel guilty on tough days, that I wasn't appreciating or enjoying the chance to be at home with the kids when many parents would love to be. I saw myself as ungrateful and tried to stop feeling that way. But I've learnt over time that no situation is ever ideal.  Any struggle is a real struggle and shouldn't be compared to what's going on in other people's lives.  And I don't think any of us women need yet another thing to be feeling guilty about! There's absolutely nothing wrong with finding the situation you're in, hard work.

On a challenging day - and sometimes in general - finding that balance and putting yourself first at all can be impossible.  We lead busy lives and we feel restricted and tied to things sometimes that we'd rather not be doing.  But I believe in all our days there are small ways we can make time to remember ourselves and look after who we are. Here's my best tips:

• Make sure that you eat and drink.  It's something - particularly drinking enough water - that is so easy to do yet makes such a big difference.  Yet somehow I'm always too busy answering someone's requests or focusing my time on something else or 'just finishing' something first.  I find that my mood drops hugely when I'm not eating regularly and because kids shout the loudest, they always get to eat first!  I'm putting in to practice some meal planning here while I'll share on another blog.  I believe being organised and spending time preparing food in advance is probably the way to go.  Take some time today to look at where you could make any changes; are you eating regularly enough?  Do you need to prepare healthy things to snack on-the-go?  Could you batch make some meals to freeze such as soup or any of your favourites?
• Focus on the positives.  Try to notice the moments that are actually yours.  Ok they may appear mundane - such as driving or unloading the dishwasher.  But your arms are free and you are free to take a deep breath or think.  Sometimes it's not always about finding an hour to sip a tea and read a magazine (although that is definitely one to fit in!), but it's about looking for the other times of the day where you weren't feeling completely overwhelmed by other stuff/people.
• Be realistic to avoid frustrations.  For example I'm sitting here now trying to write this while the kids play but it is unrealistic (knowing my children) for me to think I'll be able to write it all while they just do their own thing.  By presuming that, when they interrupt me or it's clear I can't carry on, I'll then feel resentful of the fact I've not managed to have 'any time for me'.  But by expecting that I'll only be able to do a little bit, when they interrupt me (which they are just about to - I can hear tears), I can feel grateful that I've got as far as I have in the time I've got.  The mindset is completely different and actually something to apply in many other areas of life too.
• Finish that tea!  We've all been there...you've made yourself a tea and then you've been distracted or pulled away from a situation by someone else.  Depending on what is happening obviously you may have to walk away from your tea and attend to it.  But this is where boundaries come in and saying 'no'.  It's very easy to get distracted and move on to the next thing and forget that the tea you made represented a break for you or a moment of self care.  If you can, put that moment first and continue with the next thing after you've finished this first one!
• Give yourself space.  And if you have children give them the opportunity to have space too.  Having time to breathe - and even to be bored (ha - I wish!) - is really important.  Cramming stuff in, back to back, gives little time to think about your needs.
• Learn to say no - this also connects with much of the above.  It's not selfish to make the decision that you aren't going to do something.  Sometimes it's for the 'greater good' (i.e. you can see a disaster happening if whatever this is goes ahead!) and sometimes it's just because it isn't good for YOU.  By respecting your own needs you also show others how to respect you too.
• Grounding. This one might appear a bit 'woo' to some of you but I hope not.  A personal favourite for me is to, in those moments of overwhelm and 'there is no time for me', keep myself grounded.  Mum taught me years ago how to ground myself.  I know I need grounding when my head is all over the place, I'm starting to feel like I'm panicking or overwhelmed and almost a bit floaty.  It's hard to describe it but I imagine I'm a tree and I've got roots running through my feet in to the ground.  It really does work and brings me back 'down', and to a position where I can then deal with everything again.

I hope some of these ideas might help you as well as me!

Gemma xx

My top tips for self-care ♥

Lately I've been thinking a lot about self care and how important it is to make yourself a priority sometimes.  I've got 2 young children and 1 on the way and I've always felt that when I'm happy and at my best they thrive even more.

 

We're all human and I certainly have my bad days but I know that when I look after myself, whether it's eating and drinking well or getting a bit of head space to do something I love, these bad days are few and far between.

So here's what I try to commit to:

• First and foremost, I try to keep life as simple as possible. This often means doing less, seeing less people, having less and saying no more often!  It is the one central thing that I've realised has a knock-on effect and in turn benefits us all as a family!  I got to a point where we were out everyday...I was packing too many things in; avoiding being at home; finding it a rush to get from here to there.  I'd come home to try to make dinner...which would end up late...with children at my feet upset and tired.  Stressful for everyone!  The washing was always behind because I just wasn't at home enough to do it.  Now I slow things down and make time for things that will make my life easier - such as making dinner earlier or taking the time to involve the children in preparing dinner.  I'm far from being as organised as I could be with things like washing but I'm certainly a lot less stressed than I was :-) Try slowing down; cramming less in; being a little more realistic with how much time you have in one day.  

• Making time to look after myself.  Oh this is so important!  We all know that we should look after ourselves so that we can look after others but oh so often we get forgotten in amongst busy lives, every day stresses and looking after other people.  I truly believe that when you are at optimum health or even optimum emotional health, others around you will benefit and your life becomes easier.  I am guilty of forgetting myself every single day.  Today I've not made time to drink enough water or take my vitamins or paint my toenails!  But notice I say haven't made time? This is totally my challenge......a prioritising fail! I always believe you can make time for yourself, it's just about priorities.  It's something I'm still working on but at least the intention is there!  Have a little think about your priorities today - where are you putting yourself amongst other things in your life?  Do you think that other areas would improve if you could work on your emotional or physical health first?

• Being available for our children - whilst also having boundaries. I have a bit of a bugbear about listening and I hate the thought that my children aren't getting what they need from me.  Again it comes back to self-care and is a fine balance between their needs and your needs.  I find that quite often I can try so hard to be a responsive, positive parent that actually our lives start to suffer.  This is because I don't find it easy to say no to the children! Not in the sense of spoiling them with toys or chocolate but just general everyday requests.  I'm sure you're familiar with how it goes; 'I need a drink'; 'Can I have X and then Y and then Z but I need them all right now?'; 'Can you get me X and Y and I need a poo and then can we make something out of a cardboard box?' :-D  As our eldest has got older I've been able to say to him, 'Whoah......I can only do one thing at a time......and I might just need to finish this first but I'll come straight after.'  And at almost 5 he's actually really good at waiting and understanding that I can't do everything...he perhaps has to choose one and then wait for the others.  Mum and I have talked about this lately and she says it's important for them to see that I need time to myself too and actually, in the end they will learn to respect those boundaries and I don't think that can be bad role modelling, self-care ;-)  I don't always make the time to really sit and play but I try to and otherwise always be available.  I think sometimes as a parent, if you can attend to a need quite quickly, it will often buy you time after that to do what you want or need to do for you!  

• Taking time to step away from social media. It's so easy to spend time procrastinating...avoiding other tasks...and social media is the perfect excuse. There is so much out there to be interested in and to learn but it's also such a distraction. Sometimes I think it does us (or me in particular) good to not have so many outside influences; things we read, things we see other people doing, opinions we might be vulnerable to. And instead really think about looking inside at what we think instead - using our instincts. When there are opinions everywhere it can be hard to be strong enough every day to see past this. 

• And that leads me on to my last one which is recognising when something is making me uncomfortable. Now and then I start to have a pang of insecurity or a yearning for more material items or more 'success' or more of something else. I realise now that this is coming from me - rather than anything that other people are doing. At this point I need to take a little look at my own confidence levels and remind myself that everything is just perfect as it is - I'm experiencing what I need to and if there's something I want, then I need to put that intention out there and go grab it!  

So self-care really is so important.  Whatever you love to do, whether it's go for lovely walks, be in the outdoors, dance, sing, read, write......go make some time to fit it in.  There is always time for everything, it's just a matter of prioritisation and YOU are important too :-)

Gemma xx

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