Just be yourself

I love this quote and wanted to share this with you today.    I wish I’d seen inspiring words like this when I was a bit younger.  I spent many years wondering why I felt different from everyone else – it didn’t feel as though I could fit in anywhere.  I stifled who I knew in my heart I was in an effort to fit in with others’ expectations of me.   In essence, I became a smaller version of who I could be.

It’s taken a long time but I now know and appreciate the fact I’m not mainstream – I make no apologies for that.  I have all kinds of perhaps unusual (to some) interests and I follow these with curiosity and passion.  Yes, I love to hug trees - the vibrant energy emanating from trees is something to be experienced,  it's very grounding and I love it.  I love to make sense of my world, and receive guidance,  by meditating and journaling.   I love to both give and receive energy healing and I'm fascinated with all things metaphysical and other worldly.   I love to holiday alone on remote Scottish islands where I spend all my time walking, beach combing  and connecting with nature.

I’ve finally given myself permission to live in a way that is authentic to what I know in my heart to be true and what feels right for me.

As I age, an inescapable fact for those of us fortunate enough to do so, who I believe myself to be changes as I naturally grow and evolve – as we all do.  I overheard a conversation on the radio as I was driving yesterday, which prompted this blog, where an older lady was saying how she had things in her wardrobe she didn’t feel she ‘should’ wear for fear of being labelled as ‘mutton dressed as lamb’.   This was a real dilemma for her.

Mutton dressed as lamb is a really old phrase dating back to the 19^th century – but surprisingly still prevalent in our cultural thinking, and certainly alive in the media – showing the longevity and impact phrases can have in the way we choose to live our lives.    In this case those invisible rules around how an older woman should look or the way she ‘should’ conduct herself.

Naturally that got me thinking about how I show up in life and how much unconscious conditioning I may be responding to in my choices about what I wear, where I shop and even how I look.  Indeed, who is driving my bus?!  What invisible rules am I responding to in the choices I make about what to wear, how to style my hair and how to act as a 61 year old.

I'm fully aware that the thinking around what you should or shouldn't wear can happen at a much younger age too - particularly as we take on roles in life such as mother or even a young grandmother.  This can influence our perception around who we think we are - or worse still, we lose sight of the real 'us' as we become more identified with the roles we play.

The question is,  am I making heart centered choices that are authentically mine or am I being influenced by societal expectations?   Food for thought. I was a bit of a rebel in my younger days and now I find I am returning to that mindset.

Give yourself permission to listen to your heart, to just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical, person that you are.

This applies to all of us – we are all affected by the modern day memes floating about on social media.  All that noise is more than capable of drowning out the whispers from our heart.
So are you proud of who you are?  Are you being yourself?  Who’s voice are you listening to when you make decisions about your life?

Remember, it's time to be proud of who you are and give yourself permission to be wholeheartedly you.

Shirley x

It's never too late to follow your dream

You’re never too old to start following your dream………

You’ve heard this many times I bet.
Do you believe it?
Really?
I do.

Don’t let anyone tell you it’s too late to change direction or that dreaming is just for kids. That’s simply not true.

My 30s were challenging. I didn’t have the head space to even think about dreaming of anything.  Except wishing we were a ‘normal’ family.  My 30s were full of raising my 2 beautiful children, one of whom was autistic and epileptic.  I learned so much about me and them although there was not a lot of time for dreaming but simply getting through each day to the best of my ability.  I started to become interested in creativity and journaling and that, I found, a helpful form of expression to manage the extent of the challenges our family as a whole were experiencing.

A catalytic event, the unexpected death of my autistic son not long after my 40^th birthday propelled my life on a quite unexpected path but which has ultimately had a positively transformative effect. I started to walk the personal and spiritual development path.   I studied psychology, I trained as a teacher, I learned how to meditate, to develop my intuition, I trained as an energy healer, I pursued my creative interests and began to dream of a time I might be able to serve others as a healing practitioner, as an artist, sharing my understanding and helping those starting on a similar path.   I didn’t see a clear picture of how this could manifest but I knew the future was calling to me.  I started to wake up.  I could see the world differently from how I had seen it before.    In my 40s I started to dream rather than just surviving on a day to day basis.   The old cliché ‘Life begins at 40’ appeared to be on to something.  I was still experiencing grief from losing my son but because I felt spiritually closer to him than ever before, with the continued exploration and development work I chose to do, I could continue to dream and could see a positive future helping others, not just myself.

In my 50s, initially my teaching career flourished and then I gradually became disillusioned with the red tape attached to the job, and I began to lose the sense of joy and fulfilment I had with this work.  Another catalytic event, the simultaneous deaths (unconnected reasons) of both of my parents propelled me further along the personal and spiritual development path,  at some speed.   I also separated from my husband after 30+ years together and set about following another dream – leaving my full time, well paid, teaching work (which I had allowed to take over my life – I now know to bury the grief) and creating a working life where I could see the value of multiple streams of income, allowing me to serve others using my interests and passions and thus live a more peaceful and meaningful life.

So I undertook further training in different healing modalities, made lots of new connections and set up my energy healing practice.  Many workshops and courses in self awareness and self development and using energy for healing changed how I saw myself and enhanced my whole outlook on life.  I began to realise I wanted others to feel and see that too as it was so life enhancing.  I still had work as a part time psychology lecturer and of course Gemma and I created The Seashack over 4 years ago now.  So you can see  I developed three separate but actually quite interconnected strands of income.  I loved to teach, I loved to paint and create and I loved to help people learn to open up through energy healing and to shed lots of the baggage they were carrying so they could remove any barrier to their own dreams.

In my 50s I continued to follow my dreams – as they were then – realising that as we grow and evolve, so do our dreams, so I remained open and flexible to what inspired me and showed up in my life.  All the while, learning more about me, my place in the world, and staying as true to myself as I could.

I’ve now reached my 60s – and the dreams have not diminished – if anything they have grown!
The Seashack grows from strength to strength as Gemma and I are growing and evolving. We continue to dream, collectively,  and luckily have similar aspirations and are on the same wavelength!
I still teach psychology and am evolving my energy practice all the time as my knowledge grows.   Strands are pulling together as I undertake more personal learning, enhancing my knowledge and understanding of energy and how our psychology works.

Over the last 7 years another, quite unexpected, passion has emerged.  To blend creativity and travel to my most favourite place on the planet   I am besotted with the Hebridean islands.  They are a wild and restless landscape,  a beautiful, magical, mystical and largely empty space that I am drawn back to time and time again.  The thrill of exploring uninhabited islands, seeing whales, dolphins and basking sharks, paddling in stunning turquoise sea so unbelievably clear (and freezing!), and exploring empty,  white shell sand beaches.  Magical wildlife – like seeing the puffins coming out of their burrows, the otters in amongst the seaweed and the great golden and sea eagles majestically soaring.   Ok so there is another blog in itself here it seems (!).





 I digress.

Here’s the thing. I now have a dream to travel the Hebrides, beachcombing and paints in hand to capture the essence of the landscape, that others may be able to experience how I feel about them.    I have another dream (shared with Gemma I might add) to have an actual live Seashack space (rather than virtual space) where we can both work, play and authentically experience the message we are trying to share with people.  I also dream of living right next to the sea - maybe even on a boat (!).
To me, dreams are important. They lend themselves to purpose and meaning in our lives.  They may not always be fulfilled – maybe the universe has something even better in mind, so my dreams are always couched by a proviso – ‘this or something better’ – there are greater forces at work than I can ever hope to understand.   I know, if I listen to what’s in my heart and follow the threads I am inspired to follow, everything will work out for the best interests of everyone.

In the words of Henry David Thoreau:

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.

So, whatever your age, dream well, dream big and take action.  It’s never too late.

Shirley x

The season of change

It feels like we’ve been catapulted into autumn this past week or two.  Anyone else noticed this?   As summer gives way to autumn, nights are drawing in and the temperature is decidedly chilly in the evenings.   I’m reaching for a throw and hot water bottle – lighting candles and snuggling up with a mug of hot chocolate.  The beginnings of the transition to autumn seem to have come around so quickly – my mind is drifting back to the beginning of summer – how did it pass so quickly?!

Nurturing, warming soups are back on the menu (welcome back red lentils)  and I’ve been blackberry picking, something I love to do. There’s something delicious about foraging for free food and rustling up a delicious apple and blackberry crumble – as well as freezing several trays of blackberries for the winter months.  All very satisfying and an essential part of my own autumn ritual.


After the active summer period, tending our gardens, traveling, holidays and generally being out and about enjoying the balmy long summer days, autumn signals a transition time – slowing down, resting, recuperating and preparing for those colder winter months.

Autumn has its own beauty of course. Glorious colours as nature puts on a final colourful display before leaves fall and growth becomes dormant. I get out into the countryside as much as possible and drink in those heady colours, collect conkers and pine cones (for my grandchildren of course - or at least that’s my excuse!).  I see wild creatures scurrying about – squirrels busily burying their finds and birds feeding on wild berries – a bit like my foraging, an instinctive desire to store the harvest before the cooler winter months.

So there are positive things to be enjoyed at this time as we make the most of the remaining relatively warm autumn days (yes ok, the last few days have been decidedly chilly!). Such abundance of berries and fruits to feast on, and store away, before the oncoming darker, colder months.



Taking time out - even 5 minutes of deep breaths and feeling where my body is tensed, gently stretching it out, can help us feel more present and savour the moment instead of our minds racing ahead. Try it.

Maybe I’m putting a positive spin on this although I do find something magical with every season.  Yes, I have to adjust to the shortening days - sometimes reluctantly - but there is also something for me that is  'New Yearish' about September and starting again with a fresh outlook.  Perhaps that's down to years of study first as a mature student and then teacher - so September has meant a new start for me for some time.

This year, for me,  autumn brings the start of a new training course, another group of students to teach and preparing for a busy Seashack season as we move through the rebranding process and naturally evolve.

I'm feeling grateful for having experienced the spring freshness, the uplifting birdsong and signs of new life, the balmy summer days and my wonderful Hebridean adventure and now the circle continues into a slower and more reflective period, loudly interrupted by the Christmas extravaganza of course then back to reflection and planning for another year.

The circle of life......simply amazing.

Shirley x

A daily magical practice to enhance your life

The Magic gratitude challenge we set ourselves was such a great experience. 

It all started with me buying the book on impulse while browsing in a bookshop (my favourite places are bookshops especially if they have a cafe as well!) . I'd read The Secret and The Power (by the same author) and heard The Magic was based on gratitude exercises so thought it would be fun to try. Also although I was paying more attention to feeling more grateful for things around me I was also keen on trying something more focused and really learning more about how gratitude underpins abundance and manifesting the life of our dreams.

It wasn't always easy to make time for the 10 grateful things we needed to list each morning. I did miss the odd day but always caught up the day after and really, some exercises were worth spending more time over. Particularly the one focused on financial abundance ;) .

But what was really interesting was having to think about the reasons why I felt grateful - because that action made me feel even more grateful! It's important to feel it too, not just say the words. Feeling is everything because this fills your energy field with positive vibrations and therefore helps you to attract more things to be grateful for.

The other useful learning for me was to focus on gratitude at both ends of the day - holding my magic rock before I went to sleep meant I went to sleep feeling good and then started my day filling it with gratitude. What could be better than that?!

One of the exercises I found really powerful focused on feeling grateful for our physical body - from thanking every organ and cell to all the systems in my body that work so hard to keep us alive (life is such a miracle :) )  yet we pay so little attention to our body until there's a problem and we experience discomfort or illness. Or sometimes we're only concerned about the bits that show - what we think we look like to others,  which is so caught up with our self concept. 

Each day's practice builds upon the last and gives you another way of looking at the way we live and what we so often take for granted.

I do recommend using the book as a guided practice to explore the many ways we can find things to be grateful for.   It may unearth some hidden demons which appear for us to let go of but also taps into the powerful inner wisdom we all have access to - so stick with it!   

This is powerful. 

This stuff works.  

It will change your life for the better :). 

Shirley x

Why practice gratitude?

For the past couple of weeks Mum and I have taken on a daily gratitude challenge from the book The Magic by Rhonda Byrne. One of the most important things to me is to try to live the most positive life I can. I figure that along the way there are going to be all sorts of challenges, some major and some minor, but if I can build up my own happy vibe, I'll have a few tools I can use to get me through the tough times. Because somehow that's what we do. Life goes on and we keep going. We are so much stronger than we think we are.

Today's task is to dream BIG! (You can follow the other tasks over on Facebook.) I love the idea that like attracts like. When you or good thoughts or there, good things come back to you. By taking time each day to feel thankful for things you have or things you've experienced, or things you don't even have yet, you're putting those good feeling thoughts out there.

There are so many wonderful things to be thankful for!

Perhaps it's the person at the Post Office processing the parcels. Or the delivery driver who brings the goods to the ship for you to buy. The gorgeous sunshine you've woken up to or the lovely refreshing sound of rain which will help the crops grow. The fresh water running from the tap or the feet that carry you all day! On the greyest of grey days there will always be a shimmer of light somewhere. And it's this light you want to hold on to and focus on.

And feeling grateful for the things we want before we receive them is just as important as saying thank you afterwards. Focusing on exactly what you want gives it that positive attention and positive thoughts attract positive things :-)

Gemma xx

The Magic!

So it all started when a very lovely librarian let me borrow a book even though I have a fine on my ticket and actually shouldn't be allowed! Sometimes I think these very little things can happen but make such a difference!

I had recently got myself in to a (little) rut of negative thinking. It was very subtle and I hadn't even realised I was doing it but luckily I somehow got hold of my thoughts and knew it was time to get back on track. So when this book came in to my possession it was just at the right time it seems!

For the past 9 days Mum and I have been doing the gratitude challenge. It's 28 days of morning and evening practice plus a specific task each day. I really, really wholeheartedly believe in the power of gratitude. For so many reasons. I've seen it make a difference in my life. I've kind of been including the challenge in my life in my own way (if you know me you'd expect nothing less!) & the main thing I've noticed is a shift in my thoughts. If a situation occurs or I start to feel a bit down that voice will start saying 'hang on a minute, you're doing it again...'! It's this very gradual noticing of negative thoughts that is the start of your whole outlook changing :-)

My favourite exercises so far have been about money and they've really got me thinking. I had always realised we must be grateful for what we have but I had never really considered all the things in the past; all the times and ways you might have received money. This is especially important if you're in a position where you always feel you have no money - and are stuck focusing on that. Now though, I realise there are so many ways to feel rich - were you fed? Clothed? Did you go to school? Did you have toys? Did you ever go on holiday? Did you have school books? Were you driven in a car? It's all these things that when you look at them, make you realise you were actually so fortunate - you were given these things freely. You can be so thankful for all these things coming your way.

Throughout the book the message is clear - the more time we can spend really appreciating and feeling thankful for all these things, the more wonderful things will come back to us. I find it all so inspiring and it really does spur me on to see if I can manifest anything I'd like to! I'm looking forward to the remaining 18 days & hope that I can make many of the tasks a regular thing :-)

Gemma xx