The season of change

It feels like we’ve been catapulted into autumn this past week or two.  Anyone else noticed this?   As summer gives way to autumn, nights are drawing in and the temperature is decidedly chilly in the evenings.   I’m reaching for a throw and hot water bottle – lighting candles and snuggling up with a mug of hot chocolate.  The beginnings of the transition to autumn seem to have come around so quickly – my mind is drifting back to the beginning of summer – how did it pass so quickly?!

Nurturing, warming soups are back on the menu (welcome back red lentils)  and I’ve been blackberry picking, something I love to do. There’s something delicious about foraging for free food and rustling up a delicious apple and blackberry crumble – as well as freezing several trays of blackberries for the winter months.  All very satisfying and an essential part of my own autumn ritual.


After the active summer period, tending our gardens, traveling, holidays and generally being out and about enjoying the balmy long summer days, autumn signals a transition time – slowing down, resting, recuperating and preparing for those colder winter months.

Autumn has its own beauty of course. Glorious colours as nature puts on a final colourful display before leaves fall and growth becomes dormant. I get out into the countryside as much as possible and drink in those heady colours, collect conkers and pine cones (for my grandchildren of course - or at least that’s my excuse!).  I see wild creatures scurrying about – squirrels busily burying their finds and birds feeding on wild berries – a bit like my foraging, an instinctive desire to store the harvest before the cooler winter months.

So there are positive things to be enjoyed at this time as we make the most of the remaining relatively warm autumn days (yes ok, the last few days have been decidedly chilly!). Such abundance of berries and fruits to feast on, and store away, before the oncoming darker, colder months.



Taking time out - even 5 minutes of deep breaths and feeling where my body is tensed, gently stretching it out, can help us feel more present and savour the moment instead of our minds racing ahead. Try it.

Maybe I’m putting a positive spin on this although I do find something magical with every season.  Yes, I have to adjust to the shortening days - sometimes reluctantly - but there is also something for me that is  'New Yearish' about September and starting again with a fresh outlook.  Perhaps that's down to years of study first as a mature student and then teacher - so September has meant a new start for me for some time.

This year, for me,  autumn brings the start of a new training course, another group of students to teach and preparing for a busy Seashack season as we move through the rebranding process and naturally evolve.

I'm feeling grateful for having experienced the spring freshness, the uplifting birdsong and signs of new life, the balmy summer days and my wonderful Hebridean adventure and now the circle continues into a slower and more reflective period, loudly interrupted by the Christmas extravaganza of course then back to reflection and planning for another year.

The circle of life......simply amazing.

Shirley x

Finding balance in your day and why you matter too!

I've had so many points along my parenting journey where I've thought that I just can't take it any more!  Sounds dramatic doesn't it?  Days where I've felt lonely and frustrated or like I'm everyone's skivvy in this house!  Times where in that moment I felt completely physically and mentally drained and can't remember who I am other than 'Mum' and 'Wife'.  I refer to Motherhood because that's been my path but you can liken this to any situation where you are giving your absolute all and forgetting about the importance of YOU somewhere in the middle of it all.



Our business - The Seashack - started as a result of me having my first child and Mum coming away from her stressful teaching job.  We both wanted to work around our other interests and commitments and wanted to take back that balance.  And I realised that it was important I had something for ME.

     

I love being at home to look after the children and I feel lucky that I can fit our work around this.  When you put everything in to perspective my experience of becoming a Mum really is amazing. I used to feel guilty on tough days, that I wasn't appreciating or enjoying the chance to be at home with the kids when many parents would love to be. I saw myself as ungrateful and tried to stop feeling that way. But I've learnt over time that no situation is ever ideal.  Any struggle is a real struggle and shouldn't be compared to what's going on in other people's lives.  And I don't think any of us women need yet another thing to be feeling guilty about! There's absolutely nothing wrong with finding the situation you're in, hard work.

On a challenging day - and sometimes in general - finding that balance and putting yourself first at all can be impossible.  We lead busy lives and we feel restricted and tied to things sometimes that we'd rather not be doing.  But I believe in all our days there are small ways we can make time to remember ourselves and look after who we are. Here's my best tips:

• Make sure that you eat and drink.  It's something - particularly drinking enough water - that is so easy to do yet makes such a big difference.  Yet somehow I'm always too busy answering someone's requests or focusing my time on something else or 'just finishing' something first.  I find that my mood drops hugely when I'm not eating regularly and because kids shout the loudest, they always get to eat first!  I'm putting in to practice some meal planning here while I'll share on another blog.  I believe being organised and spending time preparing food in advance is probably the way to go.  Take some time today to look at where you could make any changes; are you eating regularly enough?  Do you need to prepare healthy things to snack on-the-go?  Could you batch make some meals to freeze such as soup or any of your favourites?
• Focus on the positives.  Try to notice the moments that are actually yours.  Ok they may appear mundane - such as driving or unloading the dishwasher.  But your arms are free and you are free to take a deep breath or think.  Sometimes it's not always about finding an hour to sip a tea and read a magazine (although that is definitely one to fit in!), but it's about looking for the other times of the day where you weren't feeling completely overwhelmed by other stuff/people.
• Be realistic to avoid frustrations.  For example I'm sitting here now trying to write this while the kids play but it is unrealistic (knowing my children) for me to think I'll be able to write it all while they just do their own thing.  By presuming that, when they interrupt me or it's clear I can't carry on, I'll then feel resentful of the fact I've not managed to have 'any time for me'.  But by expecting that I'll only be able to do a little bit, when they interrupt me (which they are just about to - I can hear tears), I can feel grateful that I've got as far as I have in the time I've got.  The mindset is completely different and actually something to apply in many other areas of life too.
• Finish that tea!  We've all been there...you've made yourself a tea and then you've been distracted or pulled away from a situation by someone else.  Depending on what is happening obviously you may have to walk away from your tea and attend to it.  But this is where boundaries come in and saying 'no'.  It's very easy to get distracted and move on to the next thing and forget that the tea you made represented a break for you or a moment of self care.  If you can, put that moment first and continue with the next thing after you've finished this first one!
• Give yourself space.  And if you have children give them the opportunity to have space too.  Having time to breathe - and even to be bored (ha - I wish!) - is really important.  Cramming stuff in, back to back, gives little time to think about your needs.
• Learn to say no - this also connects with much of the above.  It's not selfish to make the decision that you aren't going to do something.  Sometimes it's for the 'greater good' (i.e. you can see a disaster happening if whatever this is goes ahead!) and sometimes it's just because it isn't good for YOU.  By respecting your own needs you also show others how to respect you too.
• Grounding. This one might appear a bit 'woo' to some of you but I hope not.  A personal favourite for me is to, in those moments of overwhelm and 'there is no time for me', keep myself grounded.  Mum taught me years ago how to ground myself.  I know I need grounding when my head is all over the place, I'm starting to feel like I'm panicking or overwhelmed and almost a bit floaty.  It's hard to describe it but I imagine I'm a tree and I've got roots running through my feet in to the ground.  It really does work and brings me back 'down', and to a position where I can then deal with everything again.

I hope some of these ideas might help you as well as me!

Gemma xx

Christmas - love it or hate it?

It's THAT time of year again, as we edge towards the holiday season, and people slowly seem to work themselves up into a frenzy.  Familiar patterns, old habits, 'shoulds' and 'should nots' - sending cards to people you feel you should send to, the dilemma of whether you should buy a friend or acquaintance a present (what if they buy you one?), aspiring to our socialised ideas of perfection - the perfect gift/wrapping, the perfect party, the perfect Christmas day - who can live up to all these expectations and come out of this with any kind of sanity?  I dislike the tacky commercialism, the must have it, want, want, buy, buy part of a consumer driven Christmas.  So much pressure on people for one day that has been put on this enormous media hyped pedestal.   TV adverts and magazine articles promoting the 'ideal' Christmas have a lot to answer for.

Before you say 'Bah humbug' I love Christmas! There, I've said it. I really do. It can be a magical time, especially if you have children in the family and I love giving and receiving presents and singing along to Christmas carols.  I love decorating my home (even though few see it except me!) - lots of sparkly lights really lift the spirits in the cold, dark days of winter.   

For me though, the best part of Christmas is a celebration of winter. I am grateful for the changing seasons (we are so lucky in the UK to have such defined seasons), birds migrate and winter visitors appear, brightly coloured berries on winter shrubs, seeing the naked skeletons of deciduous trees and waiting for the first signs of new growth heralding new beginnings, long dark nights cosying up with candlelight and warm woolly blankets,  wild winter storms and snow covered fields.  

I love to celebrate the Winter solstice - a time for stillness, quiet and rejuvenation - a time to pause, reflect, give thanks and to dream, set intentions and make plans for the next year.    Why don't you take some time out during this busy season and think about what you would like to experience in 2016?

Shirley

Autumn leaves are falling......

......and the days are getting shorter. Where is the time going? :-) 

We haven't blogged for a while as there has been such a lot happening. Mum has been busily holding the fort whilst I gave birth to our 3rd child mid - September! 

He is now 6 weeks old and life is slowly returning to 'normal' as we adjust to life as a family of 5!

It's been really lovely watching the other 2, who are 5 & 2, bond with him. Things can be somewhat chaotic with a trio of differing needs but I think we're managing pretty well so far; taking it day by day; not descending in to a mass panic, etc!

It's a really lovely time of year too isn't it? We celebrated our wedding anniversary recently which makes Autumn extra memorable. Plus the colours are just stunning at the moment. There's an air of change around and of course that impending excitement of Christmas not a million miles away!

I'm gradually easing my way back in to working, just in the evenings at the moment. Lots of sketching out ideas and the odd bit of making. Mum has been working on new designs and producing stock for Christmas. 

We've introduced a few of the designs for 2015 on our website and the full orderable range will be available from early November.

We'll also be holding 2 events on our Facebook page which will be the perfect opportunity to buy one-off, readymade items. The first event is Wednesday 4th November & the second is tbc.

Busy, exciting times all around :-) Check out all the action behind the scenes over on out Instagram page, plus pop over to our website to browse all our latest products :-)

Gemma xx