Creativity is a funny thing because sometimes it's all there and you're having a wail of a time and sometimes you feel like you've nothing. Kind of the whole 'artist's block' thing. And the problem with having a creative mind (or at least my creative mind!) is that it's hard to quieten. But without that quiet space creativity doesn't flow so well. You know, just how it likes to hit you just as you're trying to drop off to sleep!
Lately there's a lot of self doubt, self criticism and comparison going on in my usually fairly confident head. My mind is not nice to me sometimes! I've been feeling a lot like this. Like I could be more organised and I could improve on this and that. And yes, it would massively help if I was more organised, let's be honest! But what isn't really helpful is the self-attacking because all it does is drag me down, not change anything. And it's funny how quickly you go off track and before you know it you're way from the path you were on before!
I've been thinking a lot about this self criticism and I've realised I've spent so much time in the past unconsciously worrying what I create isn't as good as others. But actually it seems that how other people see you is very different to how you see yourself! I want to see myself a bit more like this I think :-)
I love having a creative, crazy, jam-packed head but I just need to learn to channel it to be most productive. To trust & hone in on that instinctive vibe that tells me it feels right; It's ok to be different; things are unfolding perfectly, just as they're supposed to; everything is going to be okay. And most importantly, I am perfect as I am :-) Oh, and it's ok if during your beach painting you suddenly decide you'd rather paint trees and possibly a washing line and bunting instead! Instinct said so ;-)
There's lots and lots to learn along the way - pretty exciting, huh?
Gemma xx
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