Why I can't write today (but why if I do it could be the start of something)

Hello Monday!

It's the start of a new week and I thought I'd tackle something first thing that I've been wanting to for ages...

I love writing, I always have.  There's nothing like putting pen to paper and getting those thoughts down, making a list of things to get through, or getting something organised.  It's like if you write that thing down then it's there and it's committed to!  It's a great way to express something too; even if no-one ever sees it you've got that stuff on paper and out of your head which is a good thing.  We have enough things in our head I find!

But sometimes I am longing to write, especially on our blog, but I feel I have nothing to say or I can't focus long enough to actually articulate what it is that is in my head.  Or rather there's so many ideas that I can't actually put a single one in the practice.  I describe this feeling as being a bit all over the place...a bit chaotic.  I think when this happens you just need to write anything.  Which is what I'm doing now and seeing where it takes me...

Not everything you write or put out in the world has to be super majorly important or make a huge impact on anything.  Sometimes it's enough that it's something that you love to do and it's helping you.  I picked up The Big Magic again yesterday and reading a few chapters reminded me of this.  And I can feel myself inspired now!

Just start.

We spend too long up in our heads telling ourselves a story that nobody else is writing for us.  We might think no-one cares what we say, that we have nothing of use to give, that people are laughing at us.  Because it takes huge vulnerability to put yourself out there.  The only person limiting us is ourselves.

We need to start believing in ourselves.

Like, really believing.  I don't just mean a few quotes dotted around your home or half thinking that you might be able to do something...one day...when you're more educated or you have more time or you feel more capable and 'ready'.  You absolutely are worthy enough of all the stuff (whatever that means for you) now.  Why would you not deserve to live the life you imagine living?

I can feel myself losing my train of thought...wondering if what I'm writing is worth sharing with anyone or wondering if it makes any sense at all!  The kids are noisy in the background whilst I type this out so quickly before being disturbed.  It's so easy to blame the time I need to dedicate to being a Mum on my lack of writing but I know this is all fear talking.  It's much easier to save this and not share it with you but then there will be that feeling of not having accomplished anything again...
So I'm going to leave it there for now...because writing something and making that connection is better than not writing at all.  And it gives me a little something to hold on to while I try to get focused on one of the parts of my life that need attention!

Wishing you a lovely Monday and sending you the confidence to do something today that takes you out of your comfort zone a little, if that's what you feel you need too.  And of course if you have a moment I'd love to know if anything here resonates with you...I would love to build a bit of a community here!

Gemma xx